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EQ: Winning with People

Jun 17, 2018 | Tom Mertz

Conflicted | EQ: Winning with People Part 3 | St. George

EQ (Emotional Quotient): Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize emotions and respond appropriately.


Series Thesis: You’ll never win at life if you lose with people. 


Winning with PEOPLE requires us to learn how to WIN in conflict. 


Mark 7:1 The Pharisees and some of the teachers of the law who had come from Jerusalem gathered around Jesus 


Mark 7:5-7 So the Pharisees and teachers of the law asked Jesus, “Why don’t your disciples live according to the tradition of the elders instead of eating their food with defiled hands?” 6 He replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: “‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’
To win with people, don’t go AROUND conflict go THROUGH conflict. 
Mark 7:8 & 13    8 You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.”... 13 Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.” 


Being responsible TO SOMEONE doesn’t mean being responsible FOR SOMEONE.  


Matthew 15:12 Then the disciples came to him and asked, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?”
There is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt. - Dr. Henry Cloud 


Jesus always confronts in order to WIN the HEART.


Mark 7:14-23 14 Again Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. 15 Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.”17 After he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about this parable. 18 “Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them? 19 For it doesn’t go into their heart but into their stomach, and then out of the body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods clean.) 20 He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. 21 For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”


Bottom Line: If I want to win in conflict I need to confront the RIGHT WAY for the RIGHT OUTCOME.


EQ Questions: 


1. When was the last time I personally EMBRACED a hard truth?

2. When was the last time I personally INVITED feedback?

3. When was the last time I personally THANKED someone for confronting me?

Series Information

Other sermons in the series

SMCC is a non-denominational Christian church, meeting at five locations in Utah. You will experience joyful worship music and hope-filled biblical messages. Your children will have fun while learning about our loving God in a safe environment.

Above all, you can expect to be welcomed!